The Epic Escapade
by CaseyTheLizardKid
Summary: The adventures of a Paladin who believe his epicness makes the world spin and a Worgen Warrior who just wants to kill things and get the job done. Soon to be more Silly characters and more silly situations.


First attempt and a fanficcy thing, bear with me.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh! Where the hell is it?" Shouted a warrior running around Stormwind, running passed people and getting weird looks from guards, looking for the auction house.

"Where the hell did it go? I need it!"

"What are you looking for?" asked a guard

"The… auction…house". He said panting

"Oh, it's right over". The guard said pointing in its direction.

"Thank…*pant*…you". He said.

The warrior stepped out onto the busy road of Stormwind, then only to be hit by an elekk being ridden carelessly by a Draenei.

"We need a priest!" Shouted a by standing death knight.

You may be wondering what happened to that poor warrior, well, he died. Nobody could fine a priest so he had to run back to his corpse, tragic isn't it.

No, thought not, silly warrior.

I am Cass, a lone paladin wondering the land in search for epix and phat lootz and to be remembered as the greatest hero ever!

Chapter 1: Chance of Fails at 100%.

I, the greatest paladin ever, was walking through the lush forest or Elwynn, surrounded by deer's, rabbits, boars, bears and the silly little kobalds. Life was good, I had freshly polished armor, an oiled blade and a shined shield. I would go through Goldshire on my golden steed, looking down upon the plebeians that lived there, I would look down upon them and let them soak up my epic aura that might one day make them worthy of my help. Some wished to duel, I said nay, I did not have the time to spar meaninglessly with a stranger; I had a quest to fulfill and glory to get. Well my life was like that until what I only know as "The Incident". One day I was going through the dark and cursed Duskwood. Filled with horrors that would make the average person scream like a small child. Filled with cobwebs, dark trees, wolf people and mindless, flesh hungering zombies. I was walking through, astride my holy steed, then suddenly, out of the darkness flew and arrow, an orcish arrow. It flew past my face with such speed, if it had of connected with my head; it would have been torn off like a child opening a present, though with blood. I was attacked, ambushed, by an orc rogue, it was dreadful, he showed no mercy. It was humiliating. I, the greatest paladin the world has ever seen, had been defeated by a rugged orc with a butter knife. It hurts to remember that day. But, I was saved by a worgen. I lost all my dignity at the same speed that the rogue hit the ground from the worgen's axe. I couldn't believe it, I was assaulted by a savage with a butter knife and could not defend myself and then I was saved by an over sized fleabag with an axe.

"Are you all right, Paladin?" asked the worgen in a deep Gilnean accent.

"What happened to me?"

"You got attacked by a bloody savage, are you hurt?" He asked.

"Yes, but, alas, my body does not hurt as much as, my pride."

"You have Problems, mate."

"I do not, fleabag!"

The worgen sighs deeply.

"Where're you headin' Paladin?"

"That is none of your concern, beast!"

"I do have a name you know."

"Then do tell me, Fido."

"It's George, not Fido." The worgen said snarling.

"And yours, paladin?"

"I am High Paladin Cassius of the golden order, Lord High King of Greatness, Leader of the Light Brigade and Club President of the Epicalness Club!"

"So, I'm guessing your names just Cass, and your just another one of those silly warrior wannabes in shiny armor. Am I mistaken?"

"Alas, you see through me like a pane of glass."

"Or like the bubble you use when you see a spider" George said laughing.

"Hmm, where are you heading…George?"

"I am heading to Westfall to investigate the Defias operations there, I could use a hand".

"Fine, I shall accompany to help you achieve your goal but only because you saved my life, the life of the GREATEST paladin ever!"

So, I journeyed alongside the worgen to Westfall, and there my grand adventure started.

Westfall was not a peaceful place, full carnivorous birds, Tornadoes, rifts and angry farmers. George and I soon find ourselves spying on two Defias rogues talking by a stolen wagon.

"I can't hear what they're saying." I whispered to George.

"Well I can."

"What's it about." I asked quietly.

"Just mindless banter about labour and low pay, nothin' special."

"No mention of any kind of evil deeds or plans from the scoundrel?"

"No. Nothin'."

George takes out a rifle.

"What are you doing?"

"Killin'em they're there, their Defias, they may as well be dead."

"Won't others hear the gun shot, did you not think of that you dim witted beast?"

"There are no others around."

"How do you-."

George points to his nose.

"Oh."

"Get some intellect enchants…"

With two shots of the rifle the defias lay dead.

"Now we need their stuff."

"Why?" I asked him.

"To blend in when we, have to look like them."

"You didn't tell me we had a plan!"

"I explained it on the way here!"

"Oh, sorry, I saw my reflection in the water and I still looked epic."

George looked at me irritably.

After spending a will removing the clothing from the dead defias I suddenly realized that one of them was a female.

"Um, one of them is a mere girl."

"Alright, you're wearing her clothes then, mate."

"I don't think I'll fit in them."

"Don't worry, you will. Besides you have the right figure for it."

"That is not true! I am a man!"

"Of course you are" George said clearly just to annoy me.

"I feel ridiculous…"

"You are ridiculous." He smirked.

"Quiet, you hound!" I replied, clearly irritated by his constant insults.

George and I soon found ourselves in a small area full of rundown houses and many defias. The scum were everywhere, every table, every chair. Seriously, there were that many.

"Name?" asked a defias soldier, guarding the entrance to the Deadmines.

"Um, I am… Bartholomew Cricket-Wicket!" I said, trying to sound convincing.

"And you, Fido?"

"John Backleberry, not Fido."

"You're not related to _him,_ are you?" He asked pointing to a sign board.

The poster said: Wanted Quintian J. Backleberry. Wanted for the murder of 1235 Defias soldiers in the Deadmines. Approach with caution, travels with a group of tauren and a female undead. May also travel alone or with a cat. The cat is also wanted for the murder of 2576 Defias soldiers around Azeroth. The cat has a bounty of 9000 gold for whoever can bring it to VanCleef. Wanted Dead NOT alive.

"Sounds like a right evil sod." George said.

"Indeed."

"Is that why you're keeping guard?"

"Hell no, if I saw him I'd be gone faster than a goblin with a seaforium charge in his pants!"

**First chap hope you like it, read and review and tell me what u think. :) Will update if reviews are positive. :D**


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